Thirteen.

I hate being home all day. It feels like such a waste of energy. Especially when there's nothing to do. I habitually go to the refrigerator out of boredom and peer into it. Sometimes I get something to eat. Other times, I don't. I didn't do too bad on calorie intake today though. 600ish. I wish I could give a more definitely number. But I think I purged twice and I c&s a couple times. I also can't remember exactly what I ate. So 600 is a safe estimate.

I went to the gym twice today! I can actually see myself getting smaller everyday. Although the scale fails to acknowledge this. I hate the scale. Especially since I know I'm gaining muscle. Ugh. I wish there was a better way to track weightloss. As long as I get smaller. I'm very aware of how much space I take up. As if I'm taking more than my fair share. That's why I love it when my clothes get looser. That's one way I measure my weight loss.

So while running on the treadmill today I was watching my self in the mirror. (Have you noticed how gyms have an awful lot of mirrors?) I was examining my body, watching how the extra flab of my arms moved as I took each step. I noticed how certain parts of my collar bone are becoming more and more prominent. My rib cage is getting smaller, my legs are getting thinner. But my damn hips won't budge. I'm afraid that I'm gonna start looking disproportionate. Sometimes I hate one part of my body more. But the more I think about it, I need to lose weight in every part of my body.

Face
Neck
Collarbone
Arms
Forearms
Wrists
Fingers
Back
Ribs
Hips
Butt
Thigh
Knee
Calves
Ankles
Feet


Someday they will all be perfect though.
Nice, thin, and bony.
With know extra skin or flab.


That's another thing I notices, I'm losing fat. But now I have loose skin.
I don't know how to tighten it up. Does it just tighten naturally? I want to be toned. Not flabby. Some sources say to build muscle. But I want to be thin not bulky.


I dunno...


Isabella.Inspired