Seven.

I can't really tell how I've been doing recently, I'm not eating as much. But I'm still eating, which is the problem. I'm gaining control. I just need to get a full grasp on it. I think I'm losing weight. I'm gonna go get a gym membership tomorrow. I'm excited. I really need it.

My ex has been wanting to talk to me recently. I told him that I don't want to talk though. I told him that we're over, which means that we have no more to discuss. I don't want to be mean, but it has to be this way. We just can't be friends. I don't even want to be friends with him. He wants to see me tomorrow afternoon. He asked me to meet him somewhere. I'm not gonna go though. I can't keep letting him come back, it'll only hurt him more.

Speaking of boys, while I was working I met a couple of guys, I got one of their numbers. Naturally, the boy who didn't give me his number was cuter. I knew one of them from a long time ago, we just had never been friends or anything. Anyways, we decided to go bowling one night. The boy who gave me is number (N) was driving, he was sitting next to some girl. And the cute boy (J) was sitting in the backseat with me. The entire drive I was just thinking about how great this was, how obviously cute boy (J) wasn't with the other girl since they weren't sitting together and I wouldn't have to worry about N because it seemed as if he and the other chick were together. Anyways, we get to the bowling alley and of course Cute boy and the girl kiss each other and make it very clear that they are together. Then the girl turns around and it happens to be my very close, and very eating disordered friend. So I'm like 'hmm, this is cool' But it turns out that I do like N. We're planning on hanging out soon and he's cute too. So it all worked out.

So like I said,, the girl, D has an eating disorder. She weighs about 90lbs and is teeny tiny. I'm very jealous. So she has now become a great thinspiration.

I want to be thin. I will have control.

I have one more day off then I go back to work.
I guess I'm ready to go back. I really need the money. I've been spending way too much lately.
And besides, work is a great way to show off my self control.

Stay thin.

Isabella.Inspired