Twenty Six.

Distended Stomach from filling it up and emptying it 5 minutes later.
Scarred Knuckles from scraping against sharp teeth.
Blood Shot Eyes from putting so much strain on them.
Trembling Hands from disturbed electrolytes.
Eroded Teeth from stomach acid running past it.
Sore Back Muscles from dry heaving.
Blueish Nails from vitamin deficiency.
Swollen Tonsils from pushing my fingers past them.
Dry Skin from dehydration.
Destroyed Esophagus from ripping at it with fingernails.

And worst of all...

A Guilty Conscience from knowing that I have destroyed everything that I have worked for.

Control.


Anorexics always seem much more glamorous because they exert a certain sense of control. However, please tell me what is glamorous about stuffing for face with food, and then continuing to shove your head down the toilet and push your fingers to the back of your throat, forcing the vomit to rise from your stomach. Yeah, doesn't sound very pretty to me either.

Anyways, I kind of knew that this was going to happen to me today.
The day started out good. I went to the gym twice.
ate oatmeal, 1/2 banana, and 1/2 cup of granola at work today.

Then proceeded to eat everything I could get my hands on.

Aiming for another SWF this week. Last nights actually went okay.
It wasn't quite as hard to drink all of the water like it normally is.

I got results within the next hour.
I always feel empty after words, but slightly bloated from all the salt. But you know what? I think that the salt is actually really good for me. I never retain water. I'm dehydrated all the time.
I know I'm still losing weight, because the only time I really eat is at night, and I purge right after. And quite frankly, I'm really good at purging. Which is both a blessing and a curse.


Anyways, off to having lovely Ana dreams.

Isabella.Inspired